My story of giving, by Lilllian Wenger                                                                          November 12, 2013

I have many reasons to be thankful that others offered their loving kindness  to me.  First, my mother who gave me life, but was never able to even hold me, as she had tubercolosis when I was born during World War II in Germany.  She died when I was five months old.  Then my mother’s sister, Anna, who took over my care, but even that was short lived.  Anna left me with her best friend to babysit me, as she went for a few days to visit her husband who was in the navy and had a short leave.  Unfortunately the war escalated and Anna could not return.  At the same time this friend  had to evacuate where she was living, taking me along with her own little children. This was in November, and as refugees travel was not easy, thus in a small town this friend told the officials there that she would need to leave me.  A family in the town  stepped forward and took me in, as I would not have survived much longer.  They took care of me for five plus years giving me their love.  

Anna and Otto ended up in West Germany after the war and then started searching for me.  Anna was able to locate me in East Germany  and came to take me away from the only mother I had known up to that time.  A few years later, Otto, Anna and I were able to immigrate to the United States.  Unfortunately  Otto died of cancer at the end of the same year we arrived in Philadelphia. 

After Aunt Anna and I moved to Chicago,  Anna had a mental breakdown and again I was very fortunate to be placed with a loving foster family, John and Lillian Marcoux.  However after a year, due to some financial issues within the family, I moved to another  family, just down the block, Carl & Erma Zager.  After a year this family was transferred out of Chicago, but I felt I needed to stay in the city as my aunt had visiting privileges. Both families had already conferred with each other, and now the first family could take me back. I was extremely lucky to have two such great foster families, with whom I have been connected all of my life.

In 2007 another dramatic event happened in my life.  I was again connected with the family who took me in when I was a baby.  I had not known their name or exactly where they lived so could never search for them.  I only remembered being told that I had lived in a town called Zwickau when little.  A couple, who came to Missoula through Friendship Force International, ended up as my house quests when I heard they were from Zwickau. After their return home they attempted a few ways to try to locate my earlier family, and low and behold they did it.   I have now visited Herta and her family, and Sigrid a couple of times and again gained this loving family back into my life. I have been truly blessed that so many people gave of themselves and their love, and allowed me to be a part of their lives.

My Story of Giving, By Marylor Wilson

It is the season of Stewardship!  Our theme is "Stories of Giving."  We are collecting stories of giving.  Send us your stories - write them down on paper, send them to us via email, video tape a story and send it to us!

Here's a story by Marylor Wilson, a member of our church and our Friday office volunteer.

It was the Sunday night dinner of one of our Family Promise Weeks ( a week when homeless families come and live in our church).  One family was a mother, a father, a two-year-old son and a two-week-old baby. The mother was still suffering from a very difficult delivery.  The father was entirely occupied with the tiny baby.

The two year old, a curly blond live-wire, couldn't sit still, couldn't eat, couldn't even play with toys in the usual way.  His mother (and the rest of us) were bothered and helpless in face of this tiny whirlwind.  His mother's threats were useless.  The rest of us didn't dare approach him.

Then, Ellen Marshall, who is University Congregational Church's Family Promise Coordinator, grabbed up the little bombshell.  I expected a big
two-year-old roar and stiff legged struggle.

But that did not happen.  He snuggled right into the curve of Ellen's arm with out a peep.  She carried him around the rest of the dinner hour, helping serve and clear dishes one handed.

Their two faces mirrored each other's pleasure and serenity.  It was hard to tell who was giving and who was receiving.

Stories of Giving

Stories of Giving…

What’s your favorite story about giving?  When have you received something of great extravagance?  How is giving incorporated into your daily life?  Who taught you about the importance of giving, and what were the lessons they taught you?

The stewardship Task force is compiling the congregation’s stories of Giving.  We invite you to send us your stories.  You may send the via email (send to info@uccmsla.org)  you may send them snail mail, (405 University Avenue, Missoula, MT  59801) you may make a video  or audio recording and send us that, or post your thoughts on our face book page.  We all have stories about giving – Let’s share them!

Here's one from Amy Carter to begin the conversation...

Stories of giving

It was Christmas vacation my sophomore year in college.   The itinerary home was, New York to San Francisco, spend the night with my Uncle, San Francisco to Tokyo, where my parents lived.  I was incredibly homesick, so this trip came at the right time.  The flight from New York to San Francisco went fine.  The next morning I was in a panic – my ticket (this was before e-tickets) was no where to be found!  After searching and searching, I went to confess to my Uncle – I had lost my ticket!  He was very, very unhappy – and called my father in Tokyo.

I was expecting yelling, shouting, Dad venting his frustration over my tendency to loose things.  Gently he told me he would buy me another ticket so I could come home. When ever I think of grace, when ever I think of giving freely, I always think of this moment – when I was very gently told that I could come home.

First Sunday of Advent

Here are some notes on our worship service for the first Sunday of Advent. 

Today, with the first Sunday of Advent, we begin a New Year in the church. Unlike the secular calendar, the Christian calendar begins today as we anticipate the birthing of the Christ child. In these four weeks building up to Christmas we are called into reflection, waiting, and anticipation.

The theme of our Advent season this year at UCC is “Anticipating” and with each week given a traditional identity we will, accordingly, be Anticipating Hope, Anticipating Peace, Anticipating Joy and Anticipating Love. Each week we will light the candles of the Advent wreath culminating on Christmas Eve in the lighting of the Christ Candle.

We begin our service today with something different for us… Though very common in many Christian traditions, the singing of the Kyrie Eleison is something we rarely do. An ancient practice, we enter into these sung Greek words which mean “Lord have mercy” followed by “Christe Eleison” (“Christ have mercy”) and concluding with Kyrie Eleison. In today’s use we are playing a Kyrie from the Wild Goose Worship Group from Glasgow, Scotland which have the following prayers spoken between the 3 singings of the Kyrie.

God of all time
Forgive us our false busy-ness
The busy-ness we manufacture to make us seem important
The busy-ness we invent to keep us from ourselves
The busy-ness in which we hide because we fear to stand still…
…To be alone…
…Or even to meet you…

(Kyrie eleison)

God of all hope
Forgive us our hopelessness
Our bondage to an imagined, glorious past
Our cynicism regarding the good in others
Our weird talent for spotting the problem before the potential

(Kyrie eleison)

God of all love
Forgive our grudged compassion
Our unquestioning affection for what seems safe
And all our lusts especially those we pretend are heartfelt longings

(Kyrie eleison)

God of all time, hope, and love
Recreate us until we live looking more to Christ than to the clock
Walk by the light without being obsessed with the darkness
And in all our loving, seek to credit and never shame the one in whose name we pray.
Amen.

Delight in Giving by Kels Phelps

On November 4th Kels Phelps, our Youth Director and some Middle School youth gave this talk on our Stewardship theme, "Delight in giving."  Enjoy this...

"Good morning. The first thing I would like to do is to thank you for the incredible opportunity that I have to work with the young people of this church. It has been a wonderful gift to me, and is part of the reason that I value this church community so much.


In preparation for talking about stewardship this Sunday, a couple of weeks ago I administered a survey among some of our middle school students about our programming. I know that this represents just a small slice of our youth ministry, which is a small piece of this church’s ministry as a whole, but I would like for you to hear a little bit about what they value about UCC.

What do we do that you really love?

• I love doing group projects for the whole church - things like the Haunted Hallway and hiding Easter eggs.

• We talk about Godly things seriously. Then we have fun.

• I like youth group. We have fun!

• [We] play games and talk about religious things. [I like] the fishing trip.

• We go on lots of fun trips like the fishing trip and the ski trip and do lots of other fun activities.



What are you most excited about for our future? What is your Vision?

• I'm excited to do the ski trip and the Christmas Pageant.

• [My vision is] that we can do more activities that make us closer.

• I am most excited about the haunted house and my vision is making it the best haunted house ever.

• Have fun!

• Doing cool projects.

• I am most excited about going on more trips.


How can we--as a community--better care for your needs?

• That we can better come together and get to know each other better.

• Well we should bring more friends from outside the church and better snacks.

• Have better snacks!

• Snacks!

• I think we should have better snacks.

“Remember: A stingy planter gets a stingy crop; a lavish planter gets a lavish crop. I want each of you to take plenty of time to think it over, and make up your own mind what you will give. That will protect you against sob stories and arm-twisting. God loves it when the giver delights in the giving.”

Right before we took that survey, I shared this verse from 2 Corinthians (which happens be our stewardship theme this year). I was fishing for responses from the group. “Remember: A stingy planter gets a stingy crop; a lavish planter gets a lavish crop.” Nothing. “I want each of you to take plenty of time to think it over, and make up your own mind what you will give.” Blank stares. “That will protect you against sob stories and arm-twisting.” Wait a second! Arm-twisting? Sob stories? What are you talking about? Bingo. That’s the reaction I was looking for.

We continued our discussion by talking about things that we don’t look forward to, but we know that we really ought to do them. They had all sorts of examples about that: homework, washing dishes, chores... The usual stuff. But, when we got to really talking about it, the general consensus was that those things often don’t turn out to be as unpleasant as we expect them to be.

The example that the kids raised that I could really identify with was washing dishes. For whatever reason, I don’t like to start washing dishes. I let them pile up until it turns into a real job, and then I still drag my feet about it. Eventually, I want to cook dinner and the limited counter-space in our kitchen is taken up by dishes from last night (and maybe even the night before), so I have to wash them. So, I fill up a plastic tub with hot, soapy water, and get down to it. And it’s fine. It’s not particularly unpleasant, and, a few minutes later, my kitchen is filled with clean, usable cookware. The thing is, I know that’s how it works. I know that washing dishes really is easy, and it changes the whole feel of the kitchen. Nevertheless, it still takes some arm-twisting to get me to take action.

For me, the same is true of pledging financially to the church. I had never given to a church before, and I felt like I was just too low on funds to make it happen. The catalytic arm-twisting in this story is guilt. You don’t have to spend much time in the church office to know that a fair chunk of our time goes to receiving and allocating donations. That’s how it works. When I realized that I was not participating in that structure, I felt compelled to make a monetary pledge to this community. I was still nervous, like I said, about not having enough money to cover my expenses, but I set up a monthly recurring contribution via the website. It turns out, I don’t miss the money. And, I feel like I am actually, meaningfully contributing to the day-to-day well-being of this church, which means a great deal to me.

This year, I’ve decided to preempt the arm-twisting guilt and proactively re-evaluate the amount of my pledge. It’s going up. I encourage you to take some time and honestly consider the value of this community to you. Then, have a look at your books. If you don’t pledge already, my experience tells me that it can be done! If you’ve been a pledger, faithful to the needs of this community for years, I invite you to prayerfully consider the amount of your pledge."

Delight in Giving, by Janice Springer

We continue sharing more of people's stories about their Delight in Giving, as we move into the last week of our Stewardship Campaign.  Here are some words from Rev. Janice Springer, one of our part time Ministers of Spiritual Formation...

"I remember an experience from years ago that showed me how much delight there can be in giving.

I was a single mom with three kids and I served a small church part time. There was not enough money, never enough money. We had given up luxuries; now we were beginning to skimp on essentials.

I had always given money to the church (and other organizations) as I had seen my parents do. Tithing had never been negotiable for me. Now I wondered if I could afford to keep that commitment. After some struggle, I decided I would continue my tithe, and trust. I’d pay the tithe first and figure out how to live on what was left.

My efforts to trust, though, were pretty wimpy. I felt sorry for myself. I was sick of worrying about money. I kept company with despair. I felt poor. Then one day, as I wrote the checks for that month’s tithe, my perspective suddenly changed. (Spirit at work….) If I had enough money to give some away each month, I couldn’t be poor! If I had enough money to give some away each month, I must be doing ok! In fact, I must be rich!

The financial struggles went on for a while longer. Each month, when I paid the electric bill, I shuddered. When I paid the car insurance, I practiced deep breathing. When I paid the mortgage, I craved chocolate to lessen the pain. But when I paid my tithe, I smiled. When I wrote that check, I felt strong. I felt safe. I felt powerful. I felt rich. Giving moved me from despair to delight. After all, if I have enough to give some away, I must have enough.

That perspective has stayed with me all these years. The money I give brings help to others. Giving it brings delight to me."

This is Janice's story - what's yours?  Would you be willing to share it? 

Delight in Giving, by Paul DeWolfe

On Sunday, November 11, Paul Dewolf spoke in church on our Stewardship Campaign theme, "Delight In Giving."  Here are his words.  Read his words and then reflect on the times and ways you have found delight in giving.  Then we encourage you to make a pledge to the church by going to www.uccmsla.org

"I delight in giving to this church because of the important role it plays in my life. For me, this church is:


• The place where Ellen and I were married

• The place where our daughters were baptized and confirmed

• The place where they learned that we welcome EVERYONE

• The place where our daughter was married

• The place where we have met our closest friends

• The place where we have said our final goodbyes to too many of them.

This church also plays a crucial role in our community. We practice our beliefs at home and abroad. We help to feed the hungry and we help to house the homeless. We provide a place for people living with HIV/AIDS to gather, share a meal together, and support one another. We stand for peace and justice and equality at a time when many want to roll back the hard fought progress gained in our lifetime. We stand as proof that the liberal Christian tradition is still alive in Montana.

I have been a member now for almost twenty years. During those years I have been a member of the Building and Finance Committee, the Cabinet, the last Capital and Mission campaign, and the current Visioning process. This summer I worked with some incredibly thoughtful and dedicated lay leaders from our congregation to help put flesh on the bones of that Vision. I have seen an incredible new energy come into this church and it gives me great hope for its future.

And yet, every year we still struggle to pay our bills. We build a bare bones budget that barely sustains our current programs. I cannot imagine what goes through the minds of our staff every year at this time when they wait to see if the annual campaign will raise enough revenue to pay their salaries. Our youth ministry would not exist if not for a special gift that will soon expire. Every year we struggle to maintain our existing mission commitments when we should be expanding them. I have to believe that we can do better than this. Our membership roles now include over 720 members, but last year there were only 166 pledges that totaled just over $300,000. We have the potential to do so much more at UCC, but not until we can commit the annual resources to make those good works sustainable on a long term basis.

And so I ask you this: If you do not currently pledge to the church, please do. If you currently pledge, please consider increasing your commitment. I suggest we challenge ourselves a goal of 300 pledges and $450,000. Let’s really demonstrate our commitment to this church and its good works. Let’s give it the resource it needs to sustain and grow its service to us, our community, and those who will follow after us. Then we can all share in the Delight of Giving."